ridiculous

and i know that you're a suck for anything acoustic

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:55:38 GMT

happy thanksgivingggggggggg :)

if the world is ending, i'm throwing the party

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 04:20:36 GMT

starting my thanksgiving break early...

fuck class. (:

she didn't choose this role

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 05:27:36 GMT

ugh. so i'm having one of those weeks where I am just so unsure about everything. I have rethought and over thought absolutely everything I could possibly think about. My future, my love life (or lack-there of), school, friends.. everything--you name it, i've dwelled on it recently. I feel like i'm in a rut, I just wish I could trade in my life for a different one.

I'm so over school. I have no motivation to do well anymore. I feel like my life isn't what it is suppose to be. I'm not even really sure what I want to do with my life once i'm out of college, i'm not ready to accept that i'll probably just end up living an ordinary, boring life. And school just leaves me no time to do the things that make me happy. I can't even pick up a book to read for myself without feeling guity about never have reading my books for school.

Anyway on to my love life. I have none. I'm sick of being hurt, I can only deal with rejection so many times. The constant reminder that every boy I show any interest in would rather somebody else is really taking a toll on my confidence. What is wrong with me? Sure, i can laugh off all my worries with my roommates and joke about it.. but inside it really does bother me. I don't want to settle for somebody I'm not really interested in though, but on the other hand i guess nobody else wants to settle for me either. Hopefully i'll figure it out soon.. before I go crazy.

so anyway-- i'm listening to some old school panic! .. i miss the exclamation point and afycso. come back old paniccccccccccccc =(

eh--- thats enough of this emo lj entry.

i suck at committment, so be it.

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:55:50 GMT

So it's only been what.. 4 months since my last post. Whatevs. Anyway, I've had a very eventful week this past week. On Sunday I celebrated my birthday with my mom and nanny and katie at my house.. since I wouldn't get to see them on my actual birthday. After a pretty uneventful birthday I wasn't too upset because I knew Katie and I would be at PATD and Dashboard the next night!! Katie and I woke up at like 930 and were on the road to Lowell around 11. It had been pretty nice out all week, but ofcourse on this day it had to be freezing, I have the worst luck. We got in line around 1230 and had about 15 people in front of us. Luckily we met our new favorite person, Kevin, in line and that helped pass the 6 hours until doors opened. When everyone started to get lined up to get inside they said the first 25 people were going to get meet and greets. Well a good amount of bitches managed to show up at 6 and cut us so we got no meet and greet. But there was an upside, we were a lot closer to the front of the line now and would get to pick or seats first. So once they let us in and checked our tickets we ran and got front row seats.. right on the barrier!!! I was so so so so happpyyyy. At that point my luck began to change for the better! While the cab was performing I was right in front of Alex Marshall and i'm suree I made him smile with my creepy smiles and screams towards him. He threw his half drinkin water bottle and I caught it and was excited, never in my life have I caught anything. OMG, he is so so so hottttt.. i am in LOVEEE with him. Then after dashboards performance Katie and I got their setlisttt! Finally at the end of Panic they threw drumstick out and Katie and I fought bitches for one of them.. and got it! All in all, it turned out to be an amazing nightt!!!!!

i'll post later about my halloween in salem.. i'm oh so tireddd.

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 16:48:57 GMT

Booo. So I am praying that I don't have to go into work at hollister tonight. I have a call in from 4-8, which is pretty dumb if you ask me. Because of that my entire day is pretty much revolving around the fact that I might have to work.

I'm bored, i should go soak up the sun, but i'm too lazy.

I need a new bathing suit, but I hate bathing suit shopping.

I'm deffinetly upholding my title as WHS's biggest complainer right now.

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:17:31 GMT

So I finally got out of my house these past few days. On Sunday I laid out on the beach wall across the street for a couple hours. The entire time I was aggravated because I didn't think I was getting any color. Well anyway, after I got out of the shower I realized that I had gotten pretty burnt but whatevski, its better now.

I made yet another trip to the mall and dropped 146 dollars on a pair of white rayban sunglasses. They are FABULOUSSS, i absolutely love them. What wasn't so fabulous was that I got an overdraft of 109 dollars on my debit card. Eh so be it, i'm over it.

The other night I got a sudden burst of energy and actually wanted to do something. So around 11 I finally went out and had a few beers. By the way, I effing hate beer, but I can't be too picky when I'm not paying for any of it. At about 2:30 a few people and I decided we'd call the cab company and get rides home.. little did I know the cab people were complete JERKS. So after what I felt was about 10 minutes of waiting for this cab I had ordered, I called back asking where it was and the guy on the other side of the phone started screaming at me! Yea, so they decided not to send a cab, but to send a policeman instead.

Anyway, I made it home around 3:30, unharmed :)

Blahh, so I'm going to Florida next Thursday.

I still want to be famous.

Brendon Urie is ADORABLE.

I need to go shopping.

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 17:42:48 GMT

"Back to the street where we began, feeling as good as lovers can you know..." -- So, I was woken up to the familar sound of "Nine In The Afternoon" playing on my cell phone today. Quickly glimpsing at the tiny clock on my sidekick, I saw that it was only around 10, so I got myself out of bed and made my way downstairs for some foodski. Well anyway, I eventually was sitting in the living room across from the television and noticed the numbers on the comcast digital cable box resembled those of a 12 rather than a 10. The point of this entry you may ask..? Well my morning on the beach wall is out of the picture.

Perhaps an afternoon on the wall, maybe...

...not.

I'll set an alarm for tomorrow. Tomorrow i'm deffinetly going to do something productive with my day.

I hope.

"i never really dreamed of heaven much"

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 04:58:11 GMT

ugh, i could just scream right now. Some poeple are so rude it really just shocks me, like i have to ask myself sometimes is this person for real? I especially hate people who are conceited. Like do you really think I want to have a 45 minute conversation about how cool you are or better yet how badass you think you are. Honestly, do you think I care that you drove over the speed limit on your way home or drank like 17 beers the other night? Well incase you're unable to sense my sarcasm, I don't care, nope--not even a little bit. Newsflash, maybe I have been ignoring you because I couldn't really care less about what you have to say.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate everyone and I deffinetly don't ignore everyone just for that reason. I really actually just have not been up to talking to really anyone lately, and that includes my favorites. I'm deffinetly not ignoring my friends because I hate them or am annyoed by them, I just haven't had the energy to engage in conversation these past few weeks. But again, don't get me wrong, there are still a select few that I ignore because I don't give a shit about them (:

I need to go on a diet. Now that I am able to eat whatever I want whenever I want, my lack of physical activity is starting to make an appearance. It's just sooo hard to resist a chocolate/vanilla twist softserve ice cream with chocolate jimmies. Ugh, I could go on and on about everything that's annoying me right now, but i'll stop myself before I get even more aggravated.

So anyway, yesterday I started reading invisible monsters and now I only have like 50 pages left. I never realized how entertaining reading can be when it's not a chore for school. Maybe i'll be able to drag myself outdoors tomorrow to the beach wall 50 feet away from my house to finish reading my book out there. It better be nice out, this overcast gloomy weather is ridiculously depressing, almost as depressing as my terrible lack of a tan.

Eh, thats enough complaining for this evening.

"bend and not break"

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 05:34:19 GMT

"No matter how careful you are, there's always going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention"- Invisible Monsters

So I haven't posted in a while. I suck at commitment, so be it.

Let's look back on my past week or so, shall we?

I got a job. Kind of. I have only worked once and my schedule is very messy, considering I can go for weeks at a time with no work. I guess to most kids that would be pretty sweet, but not in my case. When I'm not at work chances are I'm probably dying of boredom in my house.

Summer sucks. This town sucks. Get me out of here!

I want to have fun, but I can't seem to find the energy to actually go out and have a good time.

I wish I was famous.

I want to move to California.

I need to get my life together.

"is that what you call a get away?"

Tue, 27 May 2008 02:10:03 GMT

i'm not sure how much more of this i can take. this summer has been anything but a vacation. i have nothing to do with my days. i don't get out of bed before 3 and spend the rest of my day sitting in my living room wondering what the weather outside is like. i hate this town. everyone is the same. i need to get out of here, for good.

maybe some ice cream will bring my spirits up..

i'll post more later on.

"you know you should take it a day at a time"

Fri, 23 May 2008 04:23:49 GMT

"things are shaping up to be pretty. odd."-- summer break isn't all its made out to be, well atleast not in my case. And the weather definetly is not giving off any summertime vibes lately.

i wish i lived somewhere exciting. Well I do live a mere ten minutes from Boston, i'm sure theres tons of exciting stuff that goes on there. So maybe it isn't my location that lacks excitement, perhaps it's me. I mean i'm capable of having a good time, but even after a fun night with some friends, i still feel--i dont know.

Life is just confusing me like crazy lately. I don't feel like this is where I am suppose to be right now. I never would have pictured myself where I am right now in a million years. I've always had this preconcieved notion that I'd be living a much more fabulous life compared to the one I am currently leading. I dont think i'm ready to grow up, especially if this is growing up. If growing up means I need to except the fact that i'm never going to be famous, i'm never going to party with celebrities, i'm never going to have a spread in vogue-- then i'm not so sure I can grow up yet. I know I sound like i'm being a whiney little brat, but -- oh well, so what if i am?

So anyway, I miss my college lovies. I hope i'm able to see them soon. There's no way i can survive much longer without my favorites.

I'm going to try and go to bed-- though it's likely something else will distract me from sleeping for a couple more hours, oh well. Hopefully i'll get out of bed at a reasonable hour in the morning and do something productive with my day. Ha, or not :) . We'll see.

nightt.

right back where we started from

Fri, 23 May 2008 02:54:15 GMT

ah, well i've finally given in and decided to create a livejournal for myself. I mean hey why not, right?

I'll post later on, i'm tired just from trying to make this thing.